Further Instructions
by CeliaEquus
Summary: Driven by feelings of inadequacy, Hermione sets about making cupcakes for her two housemates. But things don't quite go to plan, and it's up to them to cheer her up. HG/RL pairing. A challenge fic! Usual disclaimers apply, of course.


"Further Instructions"

"What the… Hermione?"

"Don't interrupt," she said, her eyes trailing over the pieces of paper stuck to the kitchen wall. "I mustn't be interrupted."

"Why not?"

"Pretend I'm brewing Wolfsbane, Remus!"

The werewolf chuckled, and he sat at the kitchen table. Spread across it was a huge recipe book. That's right. He remembered his young housemate telling them that her mother had given her a cookbook. This… well, no wonder Hermione had been swearing as she lugged it up the stairs. He and Sirius had laughed over that; but as he lifted it now, he winced. Who wrote books this big?

"Don't fiddle around with that. Look, clear out, will you?"

"How do you even cook from this thing, Hermione?" He looked down at the instructions for cupcakes, and blanched. Why would such a simple-looking thing use so many ingredients?

"Why do you think I've got these?" she asked, pointing at the fluorescent stickers in front of her.

"Are they post-it notes?"

"Yes." Her voice was tight.

"I don't blame you."

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, walking into the kitchen. Hermione growled, startling both men.

"Would you both kindly _go_? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Maybe we should get Snape over?" Sirius suggested as Remus joined him at the door. "She'll probably concentrate better if she thinks of it as a potion. Ah! That's why I heard the word 'Wolfsbane', isn't it?"

"C'mon, Padfoot. Let's go. Call us if you set the room on fire, will you, `Mione?" Remus said. She took a moment to scowl at him over her shoulder, before returning to squint at the writing on the notes.

"Moony, d'you think she remembers that she's a witch?"

"I don't know. But have you tried lifting that book…"

Their voices faded into the distance. Hermione sighed in relief. Sirius was enough of a handful, constantly underfoot during the weekend; but having Remus in the same room as her made her feel incredibly weak. What kind of power did her former professor wield over her?

That was easily answered, but one four-letter word: LOVE. And she couldn't escape it, even if she wanted to. He was as much a bookworm as she was, and he was so kind and gentle. Plus, only Professor McGonagall and the Ministry knew, but she was an Animagus, and her form was a wolf. Not that she could ever tell either of her housemates, let alone any of her friends. What would they say? What would they think of her? And Remus would probably pity her. No. She could never tell them.

* * *

The men were sitting in the library of Number Twelve, waiting for Hermione to finish baking the cupcakes. They were fully prepared to offer their services as frosting-makers, even though Remus had explained how complicated the instructions were.

"Why couldn't she just get her own book? I mean, we could still get Kreacher back from Hogwarts, much as I detest him. Or, better yet, we could hire Dobby."

Remus sighed. "You know why, Pads. This all has to do with that visit. Her cousin Katie, remember?"

"Oh yeah. The one Hermione's so jealous of?"

"To quote her: 'attractive, successful, and happily married with kids, the lucky cow'."

"Without knowing the woman, I hate her," Sirius said. He considered Hermione to be his little sister, which gave him the prerogative to tease her, loathe the people she disliked, and make sure that she didn't go out with any unsavoury young men.

"You're being unreasonable."

"There's no way our Hermione should feel inferior. She's a powerful witch, who helped bring about the defeat of Lord Moldyshorts. What has her cousin done?"

"Become a well-paid lawyer, and married a man who enjoys her cooking," Remus said.

"Hey, Hermione's doing great things at the Ministry! And if she wants to get married… well, there's always you." Remus' mouth fell open. "Lastly, she should be buying her own cookbooks; or, more to the point, letting me buy them for her."

"Well, her mother gave her the book…"

"Damn the mother! She just wants `Mione to end up like that Sadie."

"Katie."

"Whatever. Don't you think that our Hermione's perfect?"

"Since when is she _our_ Hermione? And, what's more, why did you say that she should marry me?"

"Oh, come on," Sirius said, kicking his legs over the side of his armchair. "Everyone can see just how much you, to quote Ginny, 'pine after each other'."

"We do not."

"You do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't!"

"What is _wrong_ with you two?" Hermione asked, coming to the door. "Honestly, I'm surprised they can't hear you at Hogwarts!"

"Isn't that exaggerating a bit?" Sirius said, and he smirked. "Your hair's bushier than normal."

"I know."

"And your apron's covered in flour."

"_I know_."

"And you're…"

"Uh," Remus said, placing aside the book he was holding. "I think Hermione knows."

"What were you arguing about?" she asked, looking between them. They were both reminded of Molly Weasley, and glanced at each other. "Well? I'm waiting."

"We were… discussing that recipe book," Sirius said. "It's far too big. Let me buy you a smaller one, with easier recipes."

"I was one of the best brewers in our class at Hogwarts! I think I can handle this." She crossed her arms, daring them to contradict.

"We know you're brilliant, love," Sirius told her in a soothing tone. "Look, if the cupcakes turn out fine, I promise that we won't interfere."

"Hmm." Her gaze darted between the two men again, and they tried to look innocent. "Very well."

"Can we make the frosting?" Remus asked.

"You saw that there was chocolate in the frosting, didn't you?"

"Uh…" He looked embarrassed. "Yes."

She sighed, but knew that she could never say no to him. "Fine then. But I will let you know when you can start. I've only just put the tray in the oven."

"Have you set a timer?"

"Yes. I followed all of the post-it notes. Even made them disappear as I went along, to make it simpler." She looked smug. "I've got it all sorted, boys." She winked, and left the room. Sirius looked pointedly at Remus.

"What?"

"She likes you, Moony. Admit it."

"I'll admit nothing," he said, sitting back petulantly. Nothing in the conversation had pointed to any affection of that sort. Not on her part.

"She only said yes to the frosting because there's chocolate in it, and she _knows_ that it's your favourite food." Sirius looked just as smug as Hermione had. He leaned forward, and picked up Remus' book from the coffee table. His friend looked affronted, but Sirius merely kicked back and relaxed. "A romance, Moony? How interesting."

"I…"

"At least I approve of you. Don't know what her Dad'll say."

"Padfoot…"

"Remus, Remus, Remus," he said, looking shocked. "Are you _actually_ interrupting someone while they're trying to read?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'll find something else."

"Good." Sirius switched on the lamp beside the chair, since it was getting dark outside. "You do that." He watched his friend with a mischievous glint in his eye. "The smutty novels are in my room, if you're interested."

The look on the werewolf's face was priceless.

* * *

An angry shout went through the house twenty-odd minutes later. The men bolted to their feet, and ran out the door, Remus leading the way. They found a furious Hermione in the kitchen, swearing in French as she glared the hell out of some oddly-shaped things in a pan.

"Don't ask," she said, holding up a hand. "Just… don't ask." She slumped over, holding the counter. "Oh, why didn't they work?"

"Hermione, sit down," Sirius said, and he lead her to the dining room table. Remus set about making her a cup of tea. "Forget about those. We can still make the frosting. That's always the best bit, anyway. The cake-y part is just… support."

"Huh."

"It's true," Remus said, where he was pulling out cups and saucers. "You just picked a difficult recipe. I mean, you didn't start with potions like Felix Felicis at Hogwarts, did you?"

"…No."

"Of course not. Severus may be demanding, but he's not as bad as that."

"Dotes on his damn cauldrons too much," Sirius muttered.

"He started you out on simpler potions, didn't he?" Remus said, getting back to the matter at hand. Hermione nodded, but she still looked miserable. "Well, you should apply the same principle here."

"It doesn't help that I just got a letter from my dear cousin before," she said, pointing at the table. "I knew it was a good idea to get a Post Office Box, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to keep in contact with her. I mean, she's just… perfect. Look at her handwriting! She doesn't type; but it looks like Monotype bloody Corsiva!"

"Mono-what?" Sirius asked, looking confused.

"Never mind. It's a Muggle thing."

"Speaking of Muggle things," he said, and he stood up. "You wait there, and I'll get a little something extra to put in the tea. Be right back."

Hermione and Remus were quiet as they were left alone. He did the sensible thing, and vanished the failed cupcakes.

"We'll try again later, if you like," he said quietly.

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't be so ambitious. I just want to do well. I want my parents' approval."

"I'm sure you already have it, Hermione. You don't need to be like everyone else. Just yourself. Well all love you for who you are."

She looked up at him. "You do?"

"I'm back!" Sirius announced, almost bounding into the room as he unknowingly interrupted the moment. He held up a bottle. "Ever tried Firewhiskey in tea?"

"Shouldn't it be in coffee?" Hermione said, the corners of her lips quirking in amusement.

"Experimentation is the spice of life, `Mione." He wandlessly summoned the Muggle radio Hermione had brought from home. "Let's go outside to drink; keep a clear mind. Okay?"

Remus and Hermione looked at each other, and smiled. They nodded, and Sirius led them into the small backyard of Grimmauld Place.

* * *

An hour later, after many cups of spiked tea, all three were dancing to music on the radio. Hermione stopped them when a song from her favourite show started to play.

"They're advertising _Les Miserables_," she said, swaying because of the music (and partly because of the whiskey). "This is the song that Javert sings. It's called 'Stars'."

They listened until the end, and the men nodded approvingly.

"I like it," Sirius said. "I may be tipsy, but I like it."

"Me too," Remus said, less eloquent than usual. "But you know what I like even more?"

"Snogging!" Sirius announced, and his housemates blushed, glancing at each other.

"I was going to say 'making frosting'," Remus said, trying to maintain some level of dignity, even though he had consumed a third of a bottle of Ogden's finest. "Want to try it?"

"Why not?" Hermione asked. She was greatly cheered by now. "Let's get cracking, shall we?"

They all giggled as they tried to make the frosting according to the instructions, but failed dismally. In the end, Remus told them what his mother used to do, and they ended up making plain vanilla frosting. While it was definitely edible, they ended up throwing it at each other. Eventually, they started to clean off the frosting with some paper towel. Sirius claimed that he would take a bath in the morning, and toddled upstairs while Remus turned off the lights, and Hermione threw the cookbook in the bin. He turned, and smiled lazily at her.

"You've still got some frosting on your face," he said, walking up to her, not _too_ unsteady on his feet.

"Where?"

"Here," he said, leaning down. He licked off the lingering bit of frosting from her nose, sucking the tip daintily to make sure that there was nothing left. Almost as an afterthought, he bent further, and kissed her right on the lips. Before she could respond, he pulled back, and grinned.

"Good night, Hermione," he said, and he left the kitchen/dining room. Hermione gaped after him.

"Good night, Remus," she said.

Yes. She would get an easier recipe book the next day. Something with a lot of different frosting recipes.

**

* * *

**

A challenge story! This is for the cupcake challenge. I used all the prompts, just because I felt like it. But it's now late at night as I'm writing this author note, so I'm going to go to bed. It's raining here. Hurrah!

**Please review. This is my first story where I pair Hermione with someone who's married in canon. This is to tide me over until I write my chaptered Hermione/Remus story.**


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